Procrastination Blog

Hello blog. Nice to be back again after about a week. Today's post is my attempt at procrastinating what I really should be doing instead of blogging. What I really should be doing is reading papers for my candidacy exam, but what I really feel like doing is playing on the internet, chatting gossip with fellow labmates, catching up on the world cup, and/or getting away from campus to start the weekend. I'm thinking about seeing "Cars" this weekend - if it's anything like the other Pixar movies I'm sure I'll love it. So far I've never been disappointed by their movies - which is a lot more than I can say about the Dreamworks or Warner Brothers animated films... Let's just face it, was Shrek really that good?? I'm still very peeved that it won an oscar over Monster's Inc. Something about the genius of the dry humor in Pixar's films wins me over, but there were clearly just too many puns in Shrek (and Shrek 2) that turned me off. Call me shallow or too picky, it's okay I can handle it:) Speaking of dry humor, did anyone else love "Thank you for Smoking" as much as I did?! Genius. Definitely a must-buy when it comes out on dvd.

My boss has been out of town for most of this week, and won't be back until after next week (hence the procrastination email)... Is it bad that I'm not accomplishing as much now as I do when he's here? One of the perks of my job, I feel, is also a drawback at times. I make my own hours/schedule - and being as spontaneous as I am normally, I end up planning my experiments on a day-to-day basis as I please. This is great most of the time, but then the guilt sets in when the boss leaves and my schedule turns from "load a gel in the morning, wean some mice after lunch, and split cells in the afternoon" to "check my email in the morning, have lunch, and split cells only if necessary in the afternoon." I guess it can't be too bad though, because the other grad student in the lab didn't come in at all today - score one for me!:) My labmate suggested going home early today, and I think that once she's back from Wendy's we might just go - woohoo! Technically I don't have anymore experiments to do today (and according to Larry, if I did start something I would be breaking a cardinal rule of science - refer to last week's blog), so it should be fine for me to leave:)

As for the world cup my bracket isn't doing so bad! I'm by no means in 1st place, but out of about 40 brackets I'd say I'm at least in the top half. So far Germany has been good to me, despite the news of an early injury they're doing very well. I have a second bracket (in response to the German injury report) which has Argentina taking the cup so if all else fails with Germany I at least have a back-up plan:)

Okay, Zhirong came back with french fries so I'm going to eat and take off. Mmmm fries!:)

Thoroughly Confused

Last week I co-hosted some guest speakers from out of town to inform PhD students (from the sciences) about the plethora of career choices available to us after graduation. I have been under the asumption thus far that I really only had a couple of choices - namely working in academia or industry - but who knew there were actually more options than that!? I was shocked by a couple of the speakers - one who works for the government doing scientific policy, and another who works for a law firm doing intellectual property patent law. Another guy came from Nature Publishing Group (NPG) to tell us about his job as an editor for primary literature submissions. According to all of these people who are not currently involved in any form of "wet" research, they have learned so much more about the various scientific fields than they ever did working in a lab!! That fascinates me! As I said, I've been so tunnel visioned lately thinking that my career is practically chosen for me already, who knew I actually have a choice!? The one thing I do know about my future as a scientist is that I want to keep working on the bench for a while - actually doing the experiments I propose. However, I fear that at this point I may be over-qualifying myself by getting my PhD... Never thought I'd feel like a PhD could hurt me. The premise behind this is that theoretically, an industry (which is ultimately where I think I'd like to end up) could hire someone with a bachelor's or master's degree to do the experiments - why should they hire me and pay me more to do something a cheaper employee could do? Thus, I lean towards academia where a PhD can only get you higher, but there's still no guarantee that I'd be working on the bench. At some point I'd have to quit my post-doc (which pays very little) and start working as faculty, and with a faculty position comes more desk-time and less lab-time. I don't want to spend all day writing grants, scrounging around for money and graduate students - not to mention that what they pay in academia is a pittance compared to an industry job. But then again, if I work in industry with the high-paying job topped off with tons of prestige, I'm back to sitting behind a desk or managing a bunch of people in the lab (essentially not doing any experiments). So now I'm thinking about these non-experimental, non-industrial, and non-academic jobs that were described to me last week... Essentially they sound really cool, but as I think about it, these people are sitting behind desks all day too! What's more, according to these career day speakers, I should be looking for a post-doc now... Yes, you read that right, "now" as in I'm still two years away from graduating "now." "Now" as in "have one secured before starting your fifth year in case you need to apply for grant funding" because apparently a lot of post-doc positions require that now. "Now" as in I haven't even started my qualifying exam, but I'm still going to ask people to take me on as a post-doc. Seriously, what have I gotten myself into?!

I guess this all 'comes with the territory' of being a graduate student... "Did I make the right decision?" "Should I keep at this?" "Will it all be worth it in the end?" I know plenty of graduate students in my program and in my building that feel the same way. It's normal (apparently) to go through the "I think I'm quitting grad school" phase at least once a month - and I think this goes up the farther along you get in the program. However, when asked if they regret having gone through this hell, every PhD I've spoken to says they wouldn't trade it for the world - no regrets! Is that enough for me to stay with this?!

I'm definately not quitting grad school (just as a disclaimer to all of you who may be worried at this point). I am however overwhelmed by the amount of work I have yet to go - what I've been through so far doesn't even compare to what is to come! I just went over the grant that I was accepted for - and I forgot how many experiments I proposed! It's going to take at least two years to finish this, but hopefully not more! The scarier part about this is that the experiments proposed in the grant comprise only half of the total experiments that I have yet to do... There's a whole other project that needs attention (maybe two)! This paired with the anxiety I'm feeling about taking my qualifying exam is enough to make me want to quit right now... On the other hand, I talked with Larry today about my qualifying exam, and he advised just to start writing! I'm technically supposed to submit an abstract summarizing my ideas to my committee before I start writing, but he claims that it's highly unlikely that the committee will reject the project. This way, if I start writing now, I can have twice as much time to write as I normally would (hooray for leasurely writing), giving me more time to read and study for the oral examination! As of now I have until the end of July to submit my abstract, which gives me until the end of August to write the grant, then two weeks for the committee to approve it, and finally I have to do the oral examination within four weeks of the approval. That puts me doing my orals at the end of September. Eventhough it's going to be hell on wheels to do this thing I'm actually kind of excited (nerd alert! nerd alert!) to do it. It'll be nice to dive into a topic that's different for a change:) So wish me well, and if anyone has good tips to stay on task while writing I'll take all I can get!!

As for normal life things... Things are well. Fleegle is as cute as ever - and I think he's actually looking better than ever! I started feeding him Science Diet indoor cat formula and he's trimmed right up:) Living with Woody (Josh's cat) had a negative impact on Fleegle's eating habits - as was to be expected since Woody is easily over 20 lbs! Fleegs is so much more affectionate now too, he is so ecstatic to see me whenever I come home and it makes me feel so loved and important... It's a great feeling to come home to, it's like he's never mad at me for leaving for 9-10 hours a day, only happy that I just returned:) What a happy thought.

Speaking of happy thoughts - today's is: the way little birds hop instead of walking or waddling, or when a duck wags its tail and it jiggles its whole butt:)

Okay, enough for one day... My experiment is due to be finished soon and I want to get out of here. According to Larry I broke a scientific 'cardinal rule' - "never start a long experiment on a Friday afternoon!" This is why I love my boss:)

What a week!

This past week(end) was kind of a roller coaster for me. First I found out on Friday that my grandma was really sick, and likely not to recover - so I went to Indianapolis to see her an my extended family (as well as my mom). As it turns out, her fight with the alzheimer's disease and her recent heart attack ended Monday morning at 9:30. I'm sad to lose her, but I know that it's for the better - she's been sick for years, and now she can finally rest. Aside from the feelings of loss, I'm sad that the Jones family is smaller now. It makes a big impact in our family to go from 11 to 10, but the family we have is a good one and I am so happy that we are as close as we are despite geography.

But like any roller coaster, the downs have their ups - I found out as soon as I returned to Columbus that I was accepted for the Children's Tumor Foundation Young Investigator Award! It comes with a pay raise and $5000/year travel award which makes me very happy:) I find it humorous that during the application phase of this grant process I was 'toiled' by all of the paperwork, but now that I've been granted it the paperwork seems like 'my pleasure' to complete!

As for the end of the roller coaster (you know, the part that sucks in comparison to the first really big drop that puts your stomach into your throat), I finally went to the doctor about my hip, followed by a visit to the dentist. Okay, I'll start from the beginning because I know someone out there is wondering "why did she have her hip checked out?" Well, about 2 months ago I flew out to California for my brother's wedding (which was beautiful btw) and on the flight from Dallas to San Jose something happened to my hip. My guess is that it had something to do with the person in front of me. As the plane took flight I decided to cross my legs (bad idea as a 6'0" tall person flying coach, I know this now) but as we got into the air the person in front of me decided to put their seat ALL the way back (cue the crunching sound that was my knees). I'd like to interject with a plea - if you're sitting on an airplane, please respect the fact that the seats, when fully reclined, do not leave much room behind them for tall people like me and my family members - 'nuff said. Anyways, I was left with no room and a bit of a predicament. So at some point I somehow uncrossed my legs (then numb) and as soon as I de-planed I realized that something was not right. Well, 2 months later it still hurts to walk (and I've been called lots of names like "hippie" and "limps-a-lot") so I went to the doctor. I'm happy to report that my hips look really pretty on the x-rays:) As near as the doctor can tell I have some sort of a muscle strain, but we'll see in a week if it still hurts I might need an MRI (oooh I hope I'll get to see it - how cool!)

And the finale - my dentist told me I have three cavities... damn! AND, I need to have my last two wisdom teeth pulled... damn it again! Maybe this'll teach me to go to the dentist more often - I felt so guilty telling the dentist how infrequently I go in, and how much more infrequently I floss. I think the best part of the cleaning/"you're a terrible dental patient"-ing was the 'view' I had of the dentist's son in a picture on the wall - whew! Good lookin' cookin':)

Okay, time to go now
G-town

I'm a nerd and not ashamed to admit it!

A cucumber and a mushroom are hanging out in the fridge...

The mushroom says, "come on cucumber, let's go out and play!"

To that, the cucumber responds, "nah, I don't think so today."

So the mushroom goes, "why not? c'mon, I'm a fun-gi!"

hehehe:)

Me in action

Here are some pictures of me and the lab - enjoy!:)


This is a picture of our whole lab team. Larry is the one on the left sitting next to me (he's my PI), and then to the right of me is Will (the technician), Kiran (post-doc), Zhirong (another post-doc), Emilia (fellow grad student), and Melissa (undergrad helper).